Ethics

Ethics jokes

Masturbation

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Orphan

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

Leftist

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

Children

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.

Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?

Rabbi: Fuck the children!

Priest: Do we have time?

Baby

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?..

1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Orphan

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Orphan

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

God

God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:

God: No, I don’t want to.

Orphan

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Life

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Cord

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

Abortion

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

Abortion

I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.