Entertainment jokes
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?
He, he.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
Cocomelon.
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.