Entertainment jokes
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves? Hans Solo.
Guys, can you like my jokes, please?
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Viggie tickles.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
Why can orphans watch PG movies?
Because it's "Parental Guidance."
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
This video is its own joke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
What's a rapper's favorite kind of tree?
CYPRESS HILL.
(Non-edgy joke.)
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.