Entertainment jokes

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.

How does a woman scare their gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.

What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?

They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some BARS on the other side.

What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?

Lil Drip.

SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON.

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

To dig deep with his lyrics.

Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?

To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

What type of jam do aliens like?

Space Jam!

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

What is a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline.