Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
Wanna hear a joke?
YOUR MOM!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
Q: What is the best Disney character?
A: Toe Mater.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
RAID HIM https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEAEVyTsAdnjawrdCkDu-A/videos
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
