Employment jokes

Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?

Lil Teller.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.

Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?

Because every little bit helps!

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.