Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
Why cant orphans work at SC Johnson?
Cuz its a family company
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.
Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊
I saw a kid crying today and asked them where are your parents............. God I love working at a Orphanage
