Employment jokes
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.