Employment jokes

A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?

Get a fucking job.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?

Cause it’s a family business.

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."