Employment jokes
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."