Employment jokes
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.