Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
