Employment jokes
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.