My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
I quit my job at the bank today I lost interest.
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
whats another place orphans cant work at besides SC Johnson
The Home Depot.
I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
I got a job at the can factory but it is soda-pressing
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
