Employment jokes
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?