Employment jokes
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.