Emotion jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
He: "I love you."
Me: "I love myself too."
Ice cream is just like I scream.
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
My depression is depressed.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
I don't want to die.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.