Emotion jokes

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!

Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!

I want to die.

Like if depressed.

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.

I have it.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What time do you think dogs are not happy?

Bulldogs.

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Guy feels something on his back.

“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

I love you.

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

Why did the skeleton want a friend?

Because she was feeling bonely.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.