Emergency jokes
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!