Education jokes
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?