An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
School.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
