Education jokes

Why do gays get bad grades?

They don't get straight A's.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

A man goes into a job interview and sits down.

The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"

The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"

The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"

The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.