Education jokes

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?

Hi.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

Why do gays get bad grades?

They don't get straight A's.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"