Education jokes

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"

Dude named Guys:

Dude named Out:

Dude named School:

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?

Hi.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"