Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
What’s an orphan's high school nickname?
Lone stone.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
