Education jokes

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?

Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.

I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

I know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.

Her (DYM 101).

Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.

I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

"Fuck the school, fuck it!"

Why are fish smart?

They live in a school.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.