Education jokes

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.

A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.

A quiet kid brings an MP5.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs!

Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

Why did the slave go to college?

To get his master's degree.

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.