Education jokes
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Why can't an orphan go to school?
They have no one to sign the parent signature.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Maths...
....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?