Education jokes

An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

"Alexa, open Kahoot!"

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.