Education jokes

Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!

High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.

Teacher: What does a cow say?

Susie: Moo.

Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?

Jimmy: The duck goes quack.

Teacher: Now what does a pig say?

Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

What flies around the school at night?

Alpha-bats!

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

'Cause he wanted higher grades.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."

"Alexa, open Kahoot!"

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!