Education jokes
When the school lets you near children again...
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Memes
when my teacher says were my homework at
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!