Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Why do they call America when literally nothing is free?
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
