Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
