Economy jokes

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We're closed."

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.

What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

*Later that day*

W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.

My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.

Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.

What does a hooker and butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?

He can't afford a family pack.

What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?

Panera Med.

Where did the pirate pay his taxes?

Aye, Argh, Sea.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?