Eating jokes
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.