Eating Jokes

If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?

Some desert!

What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

bro i found disney- modern alice in wonerland

The cartoon shows Alice sitting at a table, looking bored. There is a bowl of salad with a tag that says "Eat Me" and a glass of water with a tag that says "Drink Me".

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?

Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.

I eat dick.

I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?

My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.

I named my dog Chicken.

I love eating chicken.

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

D: Johnny, Johnny.

J: Yes, Papa?

D: Eating sugar?

J: No, Papa!

D: Telling lies?

J: No, Papa!

D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?

"Just ate a tasty steak!"

How do you eat a cake?

With a fork!

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

Why did the monster 🧟‍♀️ put the cook in a bowl?

He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"