Eating jokes
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
Memes
so true
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
I eat dick.