Eating jokes
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
Deez nuts eat nuts.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
SPAGHETTI DEMON
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Never eat more than you can lift.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.