Dying jokes
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?
1. They both want to die.
2. They both cut to die faster.
3. They both listen to emo songs.
4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.