Dying jokes
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Me die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.