Dying jokes

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

The West is dying.

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?

1. They both want to die.

2. They both cut to die faster.

3. They both listen to emo songs.

4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His PC overheated.