Donald

Donald jokes

Comedian

    • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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    • Career

    • So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

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    • Idiot

    • RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

    Richard: What????

    Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

    Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

    Rick: Oh I will.

    *It was the day March 21st*

    *9 Days later*

    *March 31st*

    Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

    *one day later*

    *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

    Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

    BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

    *Richard*

    *oh he's the dumbass*

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    • Donald memes

    Trump

    • Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

    And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

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    • Stress

    • Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

    Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

  • 1

    • Uncle

    • Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

    A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

  • 0

    • Difference

    • What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

    One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

    What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

    It just doesn't work...

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