Downing jokes

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?

You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.