Downing jokes

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.

Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.

What did the green grape say to the purple one?

"Calm down and take a breath."

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

Why do basketball players hate gravity?

Because it's always bringing them down.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?

Is HE goated with the sauce?"

"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."