Downing jokes

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Why do you want me?

Cus u like me...

What do you mean?

You love me.

No.

Look down.

Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.

He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!

Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.