Downing jokes

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Why do you want me?

Cus u like me...

What do you mean?

You love me.

No.

Look down.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?

They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.

I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I can't put it down.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)

If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:

"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"