What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
DoS Jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
So, Duracell batteries do run out.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche.
What about Mexicans you may ask? A mudslide.
What about black people running down a hill?? A jailbreak.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
