DoS jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Memes
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
So, Duracell batteries do run out.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.