DoS jokes
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
What do Africans always play? They play The Hunger Games.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.