Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
Q. what do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head? A. An ambulance.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
