DoS jokes
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.