DoS jokes
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.