DoS jokes
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche.
What about Mexicans you may ask? A mudslide.
What about black people running down a hill?? A jailbreak.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Memes
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.