DoS jokes
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
Memes
So, Duracell batteries do run out.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.