So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
