DoS jokes
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
Memes
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.