DoS jokes
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Memes
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"