DoS

DoS Jokes

I hate these double standards.

if you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job" if you do it at home you're "destroying evidence"

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Head of Company: We need to stop testing our products on animals. Consultant: Why? The shampoo companies do it. Head of Company: Yeah, but we make dildos.

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”