What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?: They both spread for bread
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
By:Xzavier
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
how do you get your grass to cut itself. make it depressed
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I almost got caught watching porn.My mom got the bill for the account but luckily dad had my back.I mean we do use the same account
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child? She rearranged all the furniture.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
what do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai ping
I’ll always remember my dads last words.... Why do you have an axe we live in the city
why do dwarfs laugh when they run. the grass tickles their balls.
