DoS jokes

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?

She rearranged all the furniture.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”

Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”

The teacher faints.

Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?

Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

What do you call an Asian receptionist?

Tai Ping.

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.