DoS jokes
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Memes
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
what do you call 6 gay men in WWII?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.