DoS

DoS jokes

Dad

I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.

Memes

Christmas

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

Thief

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

  • 9
  • Charity

    I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

    It's called "spastics on elastics."

  • 6
  • Lesbian

    Daughter: Dad.

    Dad: Yes honey?

    Daughter: I'm lesbian.

    Dad: Ok.

    Daughter 2: Dad.

    Dad: Yes?

    Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.

    Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?

    Son: I do...

    Blonde joke

    A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

    Christmas

    Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?

    Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.

    Dick

    What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

    Alabama

    Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

    Because they aren't family!