Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
Bf:what do you think about our love?
Gf:count the stars in the sky
Bf:aww its infinity
Gf:nope just a waste of time
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable
what do pedophiles and Xboxs have in common?
They both get turned on by kids
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
