DoS jokes
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Memes
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.