DoS jokes
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Memes
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.