DoS jokes
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Memes
They knew what they were doing
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.