Dont jokes

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t have a home to run to.

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."

Why don’t orphans live in villages?

Because they will get abandoned.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War.

Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.