Dont jokes
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Why don't orphans have a site page?
Because there's no home page.
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.