Dont jokes

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Jack: Hey Josh!

Josh: What?

Jack: Sex!

Josh: Huh?

Jack: SEX!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Jack: Exactly ;)

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?

Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥

Why do the French eat snails?

They don’t like fast food!

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

I don't think jokes are very funny.

JAW don't know sh*t!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

12, because fish don't drown.

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.