Dont jokes

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"

What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?

I don't know. I still haven't found them.

I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

Why don't orphans rob the bank?

Because they're not wanted.

Why don't orphans watch TV?

Because of "Family Guy."

Why do orphans live on the street?

They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Why don't orphans go on trips at school?

Parent signature: _______________

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?

Because they don't have a dad to tell them.

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Awww, don't cry!