Dont jokes
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!