Dont jokes
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!