Dont jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

Teacher: Don’t run into the road!

Down syndrome: Weeeeee!

Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.