Dont jokes

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

Why don't chickens and sheep get along?

Because they have beef between them.

Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.

It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️

It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.