Dont jokes
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
like this if you don't like school.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.