Dont jokes
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
Why can't orphans go to Family Dollar?
'Cause they don't have a family.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Why don't orphans play Minecraft?
Because Technoblade is on the platform.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
like this if you don't like school.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".